1: Your spouse is not going to complete you.
That famous line from “Jerry Maguire” sounds romantic, but don’t expect your partner to complete your life, Higgins said.
“It’s really important for you to focus on you — not in a selfish way, not in a way that disregards your partner, but in a way where you understand taking care of yourself is going to help you bring your best self to your relationship,” Higgins said.
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Couples need to be able to have a balance of separateness and togetherness, she added.
2: Be aware of the expectations you’re bringing into the marriage.
You probably want a lot from just one person: A companion, a passionate lover, good parent and more, so issues can come up after Higgins presents couples with “an expectation inventory.” Here are some sample statements — would you and your future spouse agree?
My partner will meet all of my needs for companionship.
I don’t believe romance should fade over time.
I don’t believe that my partner’s interest in sex should be different than mine.