When we fall in love, we often believe that the relationship will last forever. We always hope that this one is the one, that it will be different this time, that there’s no way anything can ever happen to break you up. Except, sometimes those things can happen and you do break up.
1. Do it face-to-face
If you’ve ever been dumped by text or email, you know how it feels to be given so little consideration that the other person didn’t even bother to tell you in person. Why do the same to another person? Your partner deserves the dignity of a face-to-face conversation. An intimate setting is arguably better, but if you are worried about your partner having a violent reaction, a public place is safer.
2. Be honest but don’t give too much detailIn general, people want to know why they’re being dumped. While “you’re terrible in bed” or “you lack ambition” might seem like the honest answer, it doesn’t really preserve your partner’s self-esteem or dignity. Using a reflexive sentence like “I don’t feel we’re compatible sexually” or “I don’t think our long-term goals align anymore” are nicer ways to express your feelings.
3. Do not give in to arguments or protests
If the breakup is a surprise for the other person, they might try to argue, protest, or give reasons why you should remain together and try again one more time. If you are at the point of breaking up, nothing can restore or revive the relationship now. Giving in will only delay the inevitable.
4. Make a clean breakDo not suggest you stay friends. Avoid saying “let’s stay in touch”. To move on from romantic relationships, you need to avoid further emotional entanglements with the ex-partner. It might possible to be friends again down the road, but this is not the right time to consider this possibility.5. Express your sadness at the breakup
Being dumped feels really bad. You can soften the blow a little by sharing some of the good times you shared together: “You taught me so much about cooking and I am a better cook now, thanks to you”, or something similar. You want to make the other person feel like they had a positive impact on your life despite the relationship ending.
6. Avoid turning the other person into “the bad guy”
Nobody’s perfect. You have faults too, and turning the ex-partner into an evil figure is simply dishonest (aside from obvious instances of violence, but that’s not the kind of relationship we’re talking about here). They may have done some bad things, like cheating, but they are human too.